It's that time of year. The time of the year where we say goodbye to all our past mistakes and fortunes and move on to new things. 2009, you were good to me. 2009 was a wake up call. I'm finally ready to put the past behind me and do 2010. I KNOW this is going to be THE YEAR. I feel it, even though Ryan says its "HIS YEAR". fucker. The changes are being made and we shall see the results. Here we go. lets do it big.

disgustinly PERFECT

If you are buy a magazine stand. pick up the women's health and read the article on Paul Walker. GOD he is adorable. And the interview questions just make him even hotter.

dear gorgeous. i love you.

Falling in love is easy. A lifetime of love, now that's a miracle.

forever young

I should really post pictures while I blog but I'm too lazy to upload and go through that whole process right now. I'd very much like to be at home with a warm blanket and sipping on white chocolate moca right now, but I'm not, unfortunate, I know. This weeks been nice. It's been the first week that I'm in LA where I'm just doing the LA thing, no school and bullshit. Days go slow but the week went fast. This is the first week where I've genuinely been happy, not trying to push things in the back of my mind. I actually get to do the things I love and see the places I love and eat at the places I love aka Din Tai Fung last night =)

It still hasn't really hit me that its the holiday season. Probably because I'm not ready to admit that 2009 is over, with only a few more days left. I love/hate new years. I feel like there is so much I still want to get done before the calandar changes. At the same time, I am finally ready for something new and exciting. This year ACTUALLY represents a new start for me. CHANGES are really being made. I'm not so sure how its going to go or if it'll be successful, but its better to try now then to regret not trying.

dear santa

I really want a SMALL dream catcher with feathers and beads. =)

In the next 48 hours I will officially be done with quarter. All I want to do is run around a museum, take pictures, and play. Lets pray for happiness.

and here we go AGAIN.

lets hope this time. this wont turn out as fucked up as last time. then again, im the only one who can control that.

I'm trying to find a challenge, something I can be proud of.

awww remember this song?

last monday watts of 2009

So maybe, it was the perfect way to end my last site.

Not your typically day at site, but it'll definitely be memorable.

The ride: It was a conversation I didn't expect to have, but a conversation I needed to have, even though I didn't know it then. A lot's happened in the past year and it was nice to finally talk about it and let it out. It was nice to laugh, smile, cry, and remember it all. It still amazes to realize how far we've come, because God knows I NEVER expected ANY of this. Last night wasn't a goodbye, its only the beginning of something new.

The kid: I don't think I've been this disappointed in myself for a long time. Maybe I should have been more responsible about the situation or less selfish of my time. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference if I just stuck with him, know all I have is my guilt, knowing I could have done better. What I love about him? How I can call him over and have "conversations" with him, real "adult" conversations. Sometimes its about his family, sometimes its about school, sometimes drugs, sometimes girls, sometimes gangs, sometimes the holidays.. ANYTHING. I love how this 10 year old can hold conversation. I love that he is reflective, something you cant say about many 10 year olds. Although he can be an asshole and he fucks around a lot, it amazes me how he can turn on a switch and be mature about things that are WAY BEYOND HIS YEARS. What a skill to have as a 10 year old. WOW. to be able to take yourself out of the situation and evaluate it (even when it something he doesn't want to admit), WOW, he surprises me everyday. This kid is so important to me. He has a smile that breaks your heart but attitude that can be heard and seen across the room (quite literally since most people rather not tutor him just from what they've seen). He quite sassy, but he he'll always be my little man. Always defending me and arguing with me. Always down to talk about real life. Always in the back of my mind. Always my favorite. =) I'll miss you dude, even if its only for a few weeks.

can the eat, pray,love movie come out NOW ?! and can you please come with me???

coldplay, i love u.

I'm not sure how i feel about things right now. I just want to keep it to myself, forget it, and move on.

CAN THIS WEEKEND PLEASE COME..NOW!!!!!!! =) =) thanks

yay, best way to walk into a midterm. pissed off.

trying to stay FOCUSED

Do we always see the fruit of our labor? maybe not, but I can say its worth it, because I'm learning a lot about myself.


I might be somewhere new, somewhere strange, but it feels warm, it feels comfortable, it feels like this is just where I am meant to be.


I remember the things I love:
-museums
-reading for fun
-sitting on my bed (my REAL bed, my bed at HOME)
-playing with the kid
-running around my neighborhood
-sitting and talking at the beach
-food adventures (even though I still do that)


I wish I had time. I wish I had the time to do all the things that I love and spend time with all those who I love.



"Time is free, but it's priceless. you can't own it, but you can use it. you can't keep it, butyou can spend it.Once you've lost it, you can never get it back."

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.
- 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

soo this is the 180 that i needed. kinda stressed, but i'm at happy place. things are busy, things are good.

today was the perfect end of summer. dinner and a ride down pch. It was a conversation I needed to have. It was hard being honest with myself and being honest with you, but I needed to say things out loud and truly acknowledge the things that are important to me. This year has been CRAZY, but its brought me to a better place. I learned a lot and I will continue to. Thats the important part about the future, CHANGE. We are responsible for changing ourselves into the person we want to be and changing the injustices around us.

Really, I wanted to tell you something that I forgot to tell you in the car. I wanted to say I'm so proud of you. You've come so far and I don't think you realize how far you've come. I don't think you notice how much you've improved yourself and how much you are continuing to grow. It amazes me and inspires me. I love you, more than I'll ever be able to express.

don't claim to be someone that you aren't. it just disappoints people when they find out the REAL you, the YOU that you are too blind to see

Daddy's Little Girl

And so, sometimes I forget how amazing my family is. I know I take them for granted a lot, but I really do love them. I forget how supportive my parents have been through all my endeavors. I'm so glad that my parents have given me the freedom to choose the direction of my college experience, my career path, my personal life, and so much more. Sometimes walking around LA with your dad and holding his hand is what a girl needs. I've learned so much from my dad and I appreciate his unconditional love for me. Even though he annoys me sometimes, I'll always be his little girl. =) I love being able to talk to him about life, self reflection and the future. He's my worse enemy sometimes (HA), but he'll always be my hero.

I'm so over being so emotional about things I can't control or about things I should be over. I have about 2 years left in LA and I couldn't be more excited to go back. I forgot how much I love being in LA and being with my faves. 3 more days! Packing is a bitch! I can't waiiiiiiitttt!

Now I remember how I felt. I felt like all you cared about where the materials. Cars.laptop.making deals. Buying. Selling. I felt like I was living your life. Not mine.

i've never cried this much

If you ask me how my last two days have gone, well, I've been nonstop crying. I cry when I'm laying down and thinking. I cry when I'm sitting in the car. I just cry. Part of me died the other day. I'm not sure if I'll ever get that part of my back. For a minute, I contemplated weather I knew how to be happy again or not. I still don't know if I'll ever be as happy as I was. Part of me is scared, that trying and failing could ruin me. Part of me knows that if there is anything that I should be vulnerable for, it should be this. Why am I so scared when I was the one who put myself in this position?

I hid this in the back of my head, hoping that if it were in the darkness long enough, it would actually disappear.

EAT PRAY LOVE

I started reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert a while back. I would randomly read parts of it throughout the year. I finally have the chance to do more serious readings. Its about self discovery and learning to live again. Its funny how the novel has followed me through this year. Most importantly, the lessons I've learned from this book are exactly what I need to be learning at this point in my life. I have a tendency to underline or highlight my favorite quotes throughout books. I hope one day I can pass these books to someone I care about and they'll know what inspired me. I hope that the same words that move me will also move them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydxEKF0jsrE&feature=related

its funny how close you can be to someone, yet so far away.

i love style

Giuliana Depandi : and she speaks italian. everyone fall in love.

she is my new hero

less talk, more action.

actions speak louder than words.

We were all told these words many times through out our lives, but how many of us actually apply these words to our real life? This time, I am going to do things the right way, the way i used to. I have a plan this time, a plan which I want to stick to. I want to make things happen before I speak about them. I really feel good about this. I sometimes feel that this secretiveness will bite me in the ass, but I am going to take my chances. I'm doing this for MYSELF for once. I am really trying to figure things out, take my time, and do it on my own terms. I know this will be good.

good company?

never forget about your attitude. its how people judge you. its how people decided whether they like being around you or not.

maybe i've had it wrong all this time

" life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself"

for the longest time, i used to think that we needed defining moments, experiences, and trials and tribulations in order to find who we are but now that i give it further thought, i'm so wrong. there are so many twist and turns in life that CHANGE who we are. we can't spend our life trying to figure out who we are because just when we think we know, things change. instead, we have the opportunity to do something more benefitial. we have the opportunity to create who we want to do be, do the things we want to do, represent ourselves the way we want to be represented.

the other day i was talking to a friend. this friend mentioned that "this" is the way they are. they explained their relationship, childhood. etc. and i couldn't help but feel like that was such a poor excuse for not taking control of their life. if there is something that we don't like about ourselves, it wont be easy to change, but being able to notice your faults is already the first step. You can't just acknowledge that they are there, you need to change the things you want to be changed. you have the ABILITY to change. no one is so stuck in a rut that they can't change. if they say they are. they are WRONG. they are just STUBBORN.

be the person you want to be today and an even better person tomorrow

distracted

writing. i should be writing more than i have been. i've been quite distracted lately. distracted is probably an understatement. ive been off of track for a while now. i'm not sure if im trying to find any excuse for this not to work of if i'm actually mad about what happened. maybe its a compilation of a lot of little things. maybe i'm just waiting for things to get better and they aren't. so now i realize, its time to take charge of the situation, because obviously, no one else will, and it seems that i am the one paying the price for it.

every generation has the chance to change the world

the best feeling is falling in love with your own life

life isn't always about doing what you want.

i hate, that feeling that you've been deceived . just when you think that that things have come so far, to only realize that you are still where you started.

we need to stop blaming others for the mistakes and stop and take a hold of your own lifes

Tier 1 and #25 for hte best college in the nation.

this year, I hope to make the best of it. Live up EVERY SECOND. because this only happens once

Slow dance

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go round?

Or listened to the rain

slapping on the ground?

every follwed a butterfly's erratic flight?

or gazed at teh sun into the fading night?

you better slow down.

dont face so fast

Time is short. the music won't last.

do you run through each day on the fly?

when you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

do you lie in your bed

with the next hundred chores

running through your head?

you'd better slow down

don't dance so fast.

time is short.

the music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomarrow?

And in your haste

not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

let a good friendship die

cause you never had time

to call and say, "hi"

you'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast

time is short.

the music won't last

when you run so fast to get somehwere

you miss half the fun of getting there.

when you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift...Thrown away.

Life is not a race

Do take it slower

hear the music

before the song is over.

this poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

always learn. always grow. never be in the position where you think you are above anyone else, cause honey, you are wrong.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll

there are something in life that can't be mended. no matter that anyone says, nothing can make it better. there are somethings that will always burn and always bring you back to a dark place. forgiving is not the same as forgetting. no matter is said or done, what happened happened. and nothing can change how much it hurts. because boy...it hurts. there are days where i am able to avoid going there. there are days when im too distracted to think about it. but when it comes back up. its like getting stabbed in a fresh wound.

there are some things that sorry can't fix.

and it hurts when you see it mocking you.


sometimes no one can make it better. all you need is yourself.

thank you Frankie for being the 2nd most reliable guy in my life. my dad is my first of course.

born and raised SO CAL

I LOVE LA! Bitches, don't even know what they are missing out on

why are we here then??

back to blogging. its nice to be back for the summer...

i know it been a long time, but never forget that nothing last forever. what is in the palm of our hands today can be gone tomorrow. know what matters to you, and make sure you never neglect it. neglecting something that you love will be one that you regret. there many things that you can change in the future, but you can never take back time. and you might only get one chance to do the things you wanted to do. or you might only get one chance, even though you thought you had more...

WORK> SERIOUS..its game time bitches.... 

i love yahoo

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24307/dating-advice-6-ways-to-train-your-boyfriend;_ylc=X3oDMTN1anJtaW43BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjE0MjI5NzEzNARrAzYgV2F5cyB0byBUcmFpbiBZb3VyIEJveWZyaWVuZARzZWMDZnBfdG9kYXkEc2xrA2RhdGluZy1hZHZpY2UtNi13YXlzLXRvLXRyYWluLXlvdXItYm95ZnJpZW5kBHp6A2FiYw--

there's no place like home

dinner at the backyard. crisp air when you wake up. listening to birds and dad's oldies music. finding dad in his new special spot by the oak trees. 

i know i complain. A LOT. but i swear, it feels so good to be home.

i love my life

packing makes me so emotional

somethings are too hard to forget, no matter how hard you try to.

the walls we put up...are the same walls we must take down

its that time of year again. when i think about eerything thats happened and where i am right now. technically im in a room with clothes EVERYWHERE, not knowing how im going to start packing all this crap that I've accumulated for 10 months. its funny cause i usually plan my life out stres about what i want with my life, but for once i can honestly say that i dont know whats going to happen. i dont know what to expect. i just know that im happy. happy with myself. 

its nice to have your own space once in a while. it gives you time to think and reflect. As Gertrude Stein once argued, individuals need their own physical space so that they are able to create their own thoughts. 

this year has definately had its ups and downs. but its ended better than I could have ever imaged. im glad i met such amazing people this year. thank you for helping me grow and laughing with me. 

thanks Coki, for assuring me that its okay to laugh as loud as i'd like. i love you for your simple, genuine kindness (its rare, and i really appreciate it)

eat sleep study. repeat. 

SUMMMMMEEERRRR

i'm sucha girl.

when things reach the end. it makes me so emotional. i have a hard time with goodbyes.

WEENUSES FO LIFEEEE!

i probably have the best friends in the world. I kid u NOT. (definitely better than urs)

Soooooo i guess i never use this, probably cus i have no time, except when I'm my education class. obviously, I am an amazing student who takes copious notes and pays attention to all the things that Professor Bailis has to say. or maybe not.

 

Dinners with Erica are always an adventure. Today was the first time that I actually felt attached to where I am in my life right now. Entering college, I knew things would be different. I needed my freshman year to just mess around and not be serious. I've had the worst schedule for my last four years, and it was finally time for me to just be a normal student and enjoy my time. Along with that, I think I went through some withdrawals. After having a year of 8 am-10:30 pm with NO breaks, it is almost sad when I have all this time to myself. I'm finally getting back to where I used to be, but most importantly WHO i used to be. Things may be significantly different, but regardless, I feel more completely when I'm busy. We were talking about junior and senior year  (a topic I love avoiding). There are so many things I still want to do with my life. I refuse to believe that I'm at the half waypoint. 

 

One of the things I learned last year was congruence. there are millions of projects, groups, events, activities, people that you can associate yourself with, but it means nothing unless you find congruence between your actions and your values. there are millions of things we do just because we are suppose to or because we should, but I've come to believe that its utter bullshit. I can’t imagine sitting in a graduate interview and try to preach and sell something that I never really cared about or something I wasn’t truly passionate about.

 

I couldn’t be happier with the things I’m involved with in my life, right now. When I leave Watts and Rafael and Carlos give me the biggest hugs possible, I feel like that is enough to keep me going. I may spend over 10 hours a week doing Project Literacy stuff, but it’s the smiles, their hugs, and their laughs that are the greatest reward.

 

If you don’t love what you do, then don’t do it. 

awww they are my FAVES!!!!

i know i dont NEEED my laptop for my education class.. but id probably pass out if i DIDN't have it...

my edu123 essentials:

1) cell phone for texting

2) laptop for facebook and random crap

3) boba to keep me awake

weeeoohh. 

I NEED A CAMERA CHARGER> if best buy doesnt have one. ill shoot someone aslkdjfa;

ps. my teeth hurt. fml

I'm GOING TO

thanks dad. for reminded me about morals and values.

oh they drive me crazy. but i have the best family.ha

there are some things you just have to let go, even if that means swallowing your pride.

recap of the day

7:30 leave my room

8: chem discussion

9: math

10: chem lecture

11-1:powell

1: orientation

2:car orientation w/mark

2:20: lunch w.crystal and ashley  (AHH socko's was sooo good! )

3:DMV

5:PITA meeting

6-8: committee meeting

8-9:30: POT meeting

now.... BREATHE

i wouldn't of noticed that i hadnt eaten if crystal hadn't reminded me to =) XOXO mama crystal!

my education teacher says that her vision is to affect as many people as possible. so why is she teaching in college? because she believes its more effective. because if she teaches future teachers and education majors, then she is essential teaching at least 30 children per each individual in these college classrooms. 

i tot that was a cool way of thinking of things. 

teach one and give the right methods and values of teaching. then u are affecting thousands of kids

"definately develop her own thinking"

~somtimes its the little things that people say that can make you whole day change and make it soo much better.

Thanks for this!

"true death equals a generation living by rules and attitude they never questioned and producing more children who do the same"

This is probably the best thing I've heard in a long time. I one day hope to teach my kids to never succumb to society's norms when they know something is wrong. There is a difference from having a negative outlook vs questioning. I don't believe in letting people or things control who I am and my values. Too bad their are lots of idiots who have kids and create more idiots.

this commercial was kinda sad

SO EXCITED! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

my best friends since 1990..scratch that..my BROTHERS since 1990.they are the only ones who let me boss them around. till this day, i could probably hang out with them every single day from morning till night and keep entertained. LOVE THEM FOR LIIIIFFE!!!!

cannot wait!

dessert failure

 
i had a bad luck with desserts today...

cream pie tasted too dark and mango sticky rice was too dry.

SO SAD. how i love desserts. asdfjkl;

life

sometimes we find out who WE don't want to be but finding out what you don't like in OTHERS

a old pic from COC photo lab bathroom stall

sometimes its not about how hard you try. because there will always be things out of your control. its hard for me to come to terms with this. i hate not having control of things that happen in my life. most importantly, i hate that i can't control this. no matter how hard i try. no matter what i say. things may never be exactly how i want them to be. well never be exactly how i want us to be.

la la la liiffeee

dont u love comming home and realizing that everything you want...

you already have =)

project

...yah, if u asked me who i was and what i was about 5 years ago...i wud of never have guessed id be doing this.ha

***** *******

soo. i was thinking and somehow my thoughts came across _______. Lets just call him Peter, just for the hell of it. well Peter is like 40+ has kids and within the last 7 years, divorced his wife whom cheated on him. Luckily hes the best dad in the world. And it shows in his kids...VERY good kids. hes soo supportive, hes raised them well, hes been able to provide for them finaically, teaching them about saving money but still giving them luxuries. hes really is an amazing dad. i look up to him in soo many ways. he is the best single parent ive ever heard of. there are soo many kids that have married parents that dont have a dad 1/2 as good as Peter. 

soo anyways. for the last 5 years ive been telling myself that hes happy with how things are. his kids are his LIIIIFFEEEE, and he loves them more than anything, he love hanging out with them, he loves being a GUY with them. 

then it just dawned on me... I BET HES SCARED SHITLESS. im sure hes scared that hell die alone, without knowing what that true, movie kinda love is, that love that makes u want forget everything and just slow down time. im sure hes scared. this could be it for him. having his kids and then just growing old. no plans to retire with his wife. no idea whats ahead of him. close to being pesimistic because his age isnt helping him. asfdjkal;

imagine going to bed, for the rest of you life. you get ready, brush up, jump into bed and sleep. everynight, alone. no one to talk to. no one to laugh and snuggle with. no one to argue with. no to get into fights with and cry with. no one who you can vent to. no one you can gossip with. no one. u just sleep. and thats it. every night.

what if u die without ever having that feeling... that true love feel? could life really be that cruel, to leave u out of having one of the best gifts in the world...THE best gift in the world?

i am SOOO getting this when i have a kid. if u get it before me... ill cut ur head off =) XOXO

i AM OBSESSED WITH KATE SPADE ADS!

creative director...MARRY ME!

this desperately reminds me that that i need to get my sequin top fixed

i should have known better

once again, you fooled me... this time, its my fault..my fault for thinking that things would be different

i need this spring..

BREAK

i HATE. I HATE when people respond with an answer that they know you WANT to hear, in attempts to get the best possible response back.

WHAT HAPPENED TO AUTHENTICITY?!

why dont the streets of LA look something like this

not everyones dream.but its mine.

no more sweets. THIS IS SERIOUS NOW!

if u get past her man voice. its not that bad. hahaha

even when ur taking baby steps... u never know when ull reach the cliff, at that point, there is not turning back. whats done is done.

when i hear great classical music, i sometimes regret complaining about all those lame panio lessons i had. paino was boring until i had Mitz SuSu (or at least that's what id call her). she finally introduced to me the combination of learning and interest. i acutally go to choose my pieces and i got to add emotion to them, regardless of the decrecendos, ID MAKE ME OWN. ha. its hard to find a good combination of things that you HAVE to do and thats you WANT to do. so when have the chance, to really choose something that you are passionate about vs something you know is expected or safe... CHOOSE YOUR PASSION, beacuse no one can relate to something the way you can, and when it all matters, you'll wish you chose what you believe in.





lullaby by gary stadler

BCBG JELLY

I FOUND THEM!!!! WAHOOO!!!!!!

i hate being a girl

if ur nice but u dont like him, ur leading him on...

if u make things clear that ur just friends and nothigns going to happen, then ur a cold, stuck up bitch.

no  way to win

thanks for dropping off food

thanks for my new bag

thanks for brining misty to see me =)

thanks for my capri sun

thanks for the girl scout cookies

thanks for the French Connection dress

GTB

last night, at krua, i though some bug came out of the chair and bit my ass.asdfjkl;

the most important relationship you'll ever have in your life, is your relationship with yourself

looking for...

~size5 red keds
~white linen pants
~black studded booties

wedgie series....

I hate sundays

i love college

sometimes i do. sometimes i don't 

sometimes i do. sometimes i don't 

eat love pray

started reading this book quite a while ago. i mean A LONG TIME AGO. picked it up in attempts to try finishing it....

"the great Sufi poet and philosopher Rumi onced advised his students to write down the three things they most wanted in life. If any item on the list clashed with any other item, Rumi warned, you are destined for unhappiness. Better to live a life of single-pointed focus. 

"I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life- so why did i feel like none of it resembled me?"

Rugby

yupp those are baby skulls in a yellow bikini



baby skulls on a tote bag? awww!


ahh i love this. (extra points for their custom shirts. maybe its cus im a sucked for nikeID and shit like that)

Things to do:
-sew vintage butterfly shirt
-find something creative and inspiring for my walls
-buy 2 books( 1 for recreation, 1 frm anthropologie about amazing eats in LA)
-find a cute studded booties
-get eyebrows done
-dye hair darker or old brown
-buy a pair of running capris
-replace bcbg black jelly sandals because i cant find it my old ones
-clean my tall minnietonka
-buy a dress to wear my short minnietonkas with

my nike step box!

yeah, i dont care what you think, cause i think shes sooo freaking cute

i think i need a bigger closet...

folding and putting away clothes takes like 1/2 a day alskdf;

Can things just slow down. just a little?

MAC COSMETICS Hello Kitty Collection

uhh. i CANT WAIT FOR THIS..

too bad i forgot my appointment time. ajsdkfla;

a little hungover but still down for some family time. hahaha

weekend summary to come later today....

i did it!

I officially canceled my myspace. i think i liked the fact that i could play my favorite songs of the moment and for a while i actually communited with people on that thing. i guess it was a highschool thing, beacuse now im definately passed that phase and i dont have time to play bullshit with people on that thing. call me or text me otherwise im out playing (or facebook me). as WERID as this may sound, Tattoo on big boys radio station got me to finally do it. ha he said. that myspace is wack and waste of time. HA he did this whole interview thing and EVERYTHING. ohh tattoo, ur sucha idiot. so to let my myspac RIP i left my last comment on m.tracy's myspace cause shes amazzzziinnnggg and cause i miss her =)

watched Gran Tarino last night. overall i think that it was a great movie and trust me im a very pick movie watcher with my short attention span and my inability stop ripping things apart with my critque. DURING the movie my feelings were kinda split. it was a feeling of been happy and sad all at once. happy that even the hardest rocks can surprise you and be the best of us all. even when you think that its easy to look at someone and know everything they are about, the real character of a person comes out during conflict. despite all the sappy shit, i was pissed off at all those fucking stupid asian people in that movie.

1) that toad guy can fucking suck it for his inablity to TALK. one of my biggest pet peeves is the ability to communicate yourself and the a ridiculous lack of self confidence. that idiot looked at his feet 80% of the movie. my neck hurt just looking at him looking down all the time. put ur head up and talk to people without stuttering

2) those stupid asian guys who tot that they could do whatever the fuck they wanted. its soo sad because i bet there really are people out there like that. (the way they looked reminded me of a more chinese version of e team. ha)

3) that girl is soo rude. who talks to an old guy that way. i understand for character development sake that she was the only way to get through to him, but it reached a point were it was like a) being in a school of damn asians i dont know any of these quiet asian girls that are even capable of speaking to an old man that way so its hard to believe that girl was able to b)she made me feel so awkward being so inappropriate and disrespectful 

regardless, i cried. i didnt WANT to cry beacuse i was soo anoyed a lot of hte time, but i did. i feel like not enough people do selfless thing in todays society. and to see sucha hardass do it beacuse he finally found a connection with someone...its a rare kinda compassion. and if u DIDNT cry...then UR A HEARTLESS BITCH!=)

 

my kingergarden friend

shes my escape. when i talk to madi or hug her i feel like life automatically gets a lot better. no one makes me feel more at home. and i love that i can still call her and its just perfect hearing her voice. when i hear about all the crazy people and things that go on in this world. i realize how LUCKY i am to have the friends that i do. we've stayed close and stayed true to ourselves for how many years now. I'm SO proud of my friends and i love that we grow together even though we are miles apart. if that saying were true that who you surround yourself with is a reflection of you, then I'm 100% okay with my friends representing me.happy birthday baby boo! friends for 15 years and I'm still lovin you!