today was the perfect end of summer. dinner and a ride down pch. It was a conversation I needed to have. It was hard being honest with myself and being honest with you, but I needed to say things out loud and truly acknowledge the things that are important to me. This year has been CRAZY, but its brought me to a better place. I learned a lot and I will continue to. Thats the important part about the future, CHANGE. We are responsible for changing ourselves into the person we want to be and changing the injustices around us.

Really, I wanted to tell you something that I forgot to tell you in the car. I wanted to say I'm so proud of you. You've come so far and I don't think you realize how far you've come. I don't think you notice how much you've improved yourself and how much you are continuing to grow. It amazes me and inspires me. I love you, more than I'll ever be able to express.

don't claim to be someone that you aren't. it just disappoints people when they find out the REAL you, the YOU that you are too blind to see

Daddy's Little Girl

And so, sometimes I forget how amazing my family is. I know I take them for granted a lot, but I really do love them. I forget how supportive my parents have been through all my endeavors. I'm so glad that my parents have given me the freedom to choose the direction of my college experience, my career path, my personal life, and so much more. Sometimes walking around LA with your dad and holding his hand is what a girl needs. I've learned so much from my dad and I appreciate his unconditional love for me. Even though he annoys me sometimes, I'll always be his little girl. =) I love being able to talk to him about life, self reflection and the future. He's my worse enemy sometimes (HA), but he'll always be my hero.

I'm so over being so emotional about things I can't control or about things I should be over. I have about 2 years left in LA and I couldn't be more excited to go back. I forgot how much I love being in LA and being with my faves. 3 more days! Packing is a bitch! I can't waiiiiiiitttt!

Now I remember how I felt. I felt like all you cared about where the materials. Cars.laptop.making deals. Buying. Selling. I felt like I was living your life. Not mine.

i've never cried this much

If you ask me how my last two days have gone, well, I've been nonstop crying. I cry when I'm laying down and thinking. I cry when I'm sitting in the car. I just cry. Part of me died the other day. I'm not sure if I'll ever get that part of my back. For a minute, I contemplated weather I knew how to be happy again or not. I still don't know if I'll ever be as happy as I was. Part of me is scared, that trying and failing could ruin me. Part of me knows that if there is anything that I should be vulnerable for, it should be this. Why am I so scared when I was the one who put myself in this position?

I hid this in the back of my head, hoping that if it were in the darkness long enough, it would actually disappear.

EAT PRAY LOVE

I started reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert a while back. I would randomly read parts of it throughout the year. I finally have the chance to do more serious readings. Its about self discovery and learning to live again. Its funny how the novel has followed me through this year. Most importantly, the lessons I've learned from this book are exactly what I need to be learning at this point in my life. I have a tendency to underline or highlight my favorite quotes throughout books. I hope one day I can pass these books to someone I care about and they'll know what inspired me. I hope that the same words that move me will also move them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydxEKF0jsrE&feature=related

its funny how close you can be to someone, yet so far away.

i love style