Not your typically day at site, but it'll definitely be memorable.
The ride: It was a conversation I didn't expect to have, but a conversation I needed to have, even though I didn't know it then. A lot's happened in the past year and it was nice to finally talk about it and let it out. It was nice to laugh, smile, cry, and remember it all. It still amazes to realize how far we've come, because God knows I NEVER expected ANY of this. Last night wasn't a goodbye, its only the beginning of something new.
The kid: I don't think I've been this disappointed in myself for a long time. Maybe I should have been more responsible about the situation or less selfish of my time. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference if I just stuck with him, know all I have is my guilt, knowing I could have done better. What I love about him? How I can call him over and have "conversations" with him, real "adult" conversations. Sometimes its about his family, sometimes its about school, sometimes drugs, sometimes girls, sometimes gangs, sometimes the holidays.. ANYTHING. I love how this 10 year old can hold conversation. I love that he is reflective, something you cant say about many 10 year olds. Although he can be an asshole and he fucks around a lot, it amazes me how he can turn on a switch and be mature about things that are WAY BEYOND HIS YEARS. What a skill to have as a 10 year old. WOW. to be able to take yourself out of the situation and evaluate it (even when it something he doesn't want to admit), WOW, he surprises me everyday. This kid is so important to me. He has a smile that breaks your heart but attitude that can be heard and seen across the room (quite literally since most people rather not tutor him just from what they've seen). He quite sassy, but he he'll always be my little man. Always defending me and arguing with me. Always down to talk about real life. Always in the back of my mind. Always my favorite. =) I'll miss you dude, even if its only for a few weeks.
